The former South African president died today at age 95. Remember him through his uplifting and revolutionary words.
I’ve obviously given up on graduating from Grad School.
RIP Nelson Mandela
Former South African president and human rights icon Nelson Mandela died on Thursday at the age of 95, NBC News reported.
Mandela’s death was confirmed by current South African president Jacob Zuma, who was quoted as saying, “Although we knew that this day would come nothing can diminish our sense of a profound and enduring loss.”
(Photo Credit: Agence France-Presse)
Remember that intimate conversation you had with your son? The one where you said, “I love you and I need you to know that no matter how a woman dresses or acts, it is not an invitation to cat call, taunt, harass or assault her”?
Or when you told your son, “A woman’s virginity isn’t a prize and sleeping with a woman doesn’t earn you a point”?
How about the heart-to-heart where you lovingly conferred the legal knowledge that “a woman doesn’t have to be fighting you and you don’t have to be pinning her down for it to be RAPE. Intoxication means she can’t legally consent, NOT that she’s an easy score.”
Or maybe you recall sharing my personal favorite, “Your sexual experiences don’t dictate your worth just like a woman’s sexual experiences don’t dictate hers.”
Last but not least, do you remember calling your son out when you discovered he was using the word “slut” liberally? Or when you overheard him talking about some girl from school as if she were more of a conquest than a person?
I want you to consider these conversations and then ask yourself why you don’t remember them. The likely reason is because you didn’t have them. In fact, most parents haven’t had them.
1. Stop faking your fucking orgasms. Society already tells young men that they run the fucking universe - if they can’t turn your cunt into a shooting star then for god’s sake, let them know about it.
2. Once you’ve stopped faking your fucking orgasms, use this newfound honesty throughout the rest of your life - stop ordering coffee you don’t actually like; stop sitting at a desk and allowing people to treat you like shit in the hopes that a meek attitude will earn you a promotion (it won’t); stop telling people they can finish your food when you’re not actually done yet. These may seem petty, but they add up, just like every orgasm you didn’t actually get to have.
3. If you wanna dance all night, dance all fucking night. Dance all night even if you have work in the morning. The worst that will happen is you’ll drink RedBull all day and look like a zombie - pass it off as a head cold to the real zombies you work with and flick through the embarrassing photos you’re being tagged in as you pretend to take a shit for some peace and quiet. I promise, you’ll remember dancing all night in ten years, not the suspicious way your boss looked at you that morning.
4. If your ass looks big in that, that’s a good thing.
5. You will never be as young as you are this second. Embrace it.
6. Embrace the fact that you’re going to get older. Ask your boyfriend if he will still love you when you’re seventy and your tits are down to your knees. Look forward to this time - seventy year old women are allowed to do pretty much whatever they want, and no-one can stop them. You can carry candy in your bag and not share it with a single soul. You can stay home all day and cross-stitch expletives onto handkerchiefs for your grandchildren and slip them under the table out of sight of the people you raised. You can drink whisky at 10am. Every phase of your life is going to be amazing for different reasons. Embrace that.
7. A lot of people will pretend to love Bukowski. Don’t pretend to love Bukowski if you don’t love Bukowski. It’s overplayed and no-one will mind if you actually like Virginia Andrews instead - the people who do mind are boring.
Let me tell you a fucking thing about costume design. That’s some in depth, difficult shit to learn. And the fact that this goddess can ramble this shit off the cuff means she knows her shit. ELLE WOODS IS A GODAMNED GENIUS AND IT’s NOT A STRETCH TO BELIEVE SHE GOT INTO HARVARD LAW MMMK?
FUCK YEAH ELLE WOODS OR DIE
this movie is literally about an attractive woman who loves to party having to prove over and over again that she’s also intelligent and hard-working to those who judge her based on her looks (who also empowers and fights for other women, and fosters unlikely friendships instead of engaging in girl hate) and if you don’t think that’s some great feminist shit then I don’t know what your problem is
I hate when people assume that women can only be one of three things; pretty, smart, or strong. Even though there are a hell of a lot of women proving that they can rock all three. We’re not either/or, so people should stop treating us as such.